The UN-Comfortable Zone

by Coach Mike

“Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.”

We typically avoid situations that feel scary; fear and anxiety overwhelm which can cause us to typically search for relief from those uncomfortable feelings. The feelings we experience are our irrational side working to keep us “safe”. If accept the feeling instead of allow time to understand it, it gets stronger throughout our lives. The feeling can become so strong that it can overpower us, and we find ways to numb that feeling, like avoiding conversations or situations, eating “comfort foods”, using drugs to forget our worries, etc…We live in a world of comfort. House is cold turn up the heat; house is too hot turn on the AC. Hungry? Grocery store/restaurants are everywhere. I could go on but look at your everyday life and imagine how you avoid being uncomfortable.

Take a COLD shower…brrrrr

Close your eyes and imagine standing under the shower head and turning on the cold water. What did you just experience? That is uncomfortable, right? What makes it uncomfortable though? For me, it’s the feeling on my skin and how my body reacts by starting to shiver and breathe erratically.

Becoming comfortable with being uncomfortable…

This is a paradoxical statement but that is exactly what I did. I asked myself, “How can I make this experience more comfortable?” For me, focusing my attention on my breath and evening it out allowed me to draw focus inward where my body is still warm. In that moment I no longer felt the cold water beating on my skin but a sense of calm and warmth. This is something you can do. At the end of your normal shower turn it all the way to cold and stand there for 10 seconds. What is uncomfortable for you and how can you make it more comfortable?

“The only thing you have control over is your reaction.”

What has something so simple allowed me to practice?

1. Being present: Just standing under the shower knowing that I’m going to turn on the cold water my thoughts go into overdrive and it allows me to practice listening to them in a safe environment and flex my “focus” muscle to stay present.
2. Managing fear: Acknowledging the fear and listening to it allows me to release it by proactively changing my perspective and instead of fear I decide to react with joy.
3. Taking small steps: Joy of taking a cold shower didn’t happen overnight. I started with 10 seconds and disliked it very much. However, by sticking with it and adding about 5 seconds each time I was able to compassionately work with myself and now my whole shower consists of cold water.
4. Kicking my own butt: Getting uncomfortable allows me to demonstrate by example my initiative to kick my own butt instead of waiting for someone else to do it. Doing something you are resistant to, every single day, builds mental strength and over time this discipline becomes a habit that echoes in every area of life.
5. Break up the habit: Life is often a series of habits followed by other habits. Doing this allows me to practice getting uncomfortable, break up the habit and then work through the new situation.
6. Tolerance: Having a cold shower has helped me train my mind to not react to changes within the body, like leg cramps, itchy nose, or sore back. This tolerance has extended over to other aspects of life. For example, when someone cuts me off in traffic, I have learned to ignore the rush of adrenaline in the body and react properly.
7. Being humbled: Cold showers humble everyone and serve as an amazing way to give myself an occasional psychological kick in the butt. We are all the same, and you are not better than anyone else. As powerful and strong you consider yourself, we are all human beings. The cold shower has the power to humble everyone.
8. Acceptance: Overcoming this situation on a regular basis has helped me practice acceptance of the fact that there are things beyond my control and that life is not always going to go my way. This has helped boost willpower, build tolerance, and allows me to practice accepting the things that life throws at me.

Finding simple ways to move outside your comfort zone on a regular basis allows you to practice being comfortable with being uncomfortable. So, ask yourself this question. What makes you uncomfortable? How can you make it comfortable for you?

If you want more information regarding the health benefits of cold showers just Google it, you too may start this practice.

Words are POWERFUL!

By Coach Mike

Being a bit of a Star Wars geek, I have always loved this quote by Yoda.

“No! Try not! Do or do not, there is no try.” -Yoda

However, I was always confused, by “there is no try”. What did he mean by that? You grow up and your parents say to you, just try it and see if you like it. Teachers said, just give it a try and see if it works. There are so many more examples, but when Yoda spoke those words, he teaches a very valuable lesson. When you say, “you’ll try”, you are lying. If you tell yourself that you’re “going to try”, you’ve subconsciously planned to fail, and it gives your brain an out. This doesn’t mean that you must do everything that is asked of you. If you don’t think that something is the best use of your time and energy, you can honestly and clearly (and kindly) say no. But if you choose to take something on, commit to it with all your might. You either do it or you don’t and if you fail in the process of doing at least you truly learned something.

What I’m getting at is that words are powerful. They set expectations and limits and send messages to our brains and even our bodies about how much we are capable of. You may discover that you may use self-limiting words without even realizing it. Our subconscious may choose safe words that make unimportant things feel huge and other words that allow wiggle room to avoid doing the big things we want to do.

Weasel Words

As I was scrolling through the team’s Instragram feed one of my favorite authors, Dave Asprey, posted a pic with the term “Weasel Words”. In his new book “Game Changers” he delves into four particularly insidious weasel words that you likely use many times a day without even noticing it. “Try” is one of those words, here are the other three.

Can’t: It is perhaps the most destructive word. The word “can’t” mean’s there is absolutely no possible way you can do something. When you say “I can’t do…” something, you may actually mean: I could use some help; I don’t have the tools to do it; I don’t know how to do it; or you I don’t want to do it. Using “can’t” creates confusion and stress between your conscious and unconscious parts of your brain. Instead use words that mean the same thing to both parts of the brain and it will help you be calmer and more empowered as a person. “Can’t” is always a lie. Learn to see it that way, and you’ll solve problems differently.

Need: You probably use this word in all sorts of ways; “I need a snack” or “I need this new iPhone”. You don’t need those things and lying to your brain about what you need is making you weak, turning a desire into a straight-up survival issue. There are only a few things we do need: oxygen, water, food, shelter, and warmth. The rest are wants, not needs.

Bad: Very few things are inherently “bad”; bad is a value judgement you assign something. When you label things as “bad” your subconscious listens and prepares for impending doom. Most of the time what we mean is; I don’t like it or don’t want it. The world doesn’t naturally fall into two camps. There are truly tragic things, such as violence and natural disasters, but when it comes to our everyday lives judging things through a filter of good or bad is limiting and creates unnecessary obstacles. When labeling something as “bad” you miss out on an opportunity to figure out how it can be good.

“Your words become your world.” Nadeem Kazi

Our subconscious interprets what it hears very literally. Your mind and body will follow the direction your words lead. The words you use hold immense power. Power to fuel your confidence and ambition and power to make you feel anxious and inadequate. Power to make a strong first impression and power to be quickly forgotten. Power to create opportunities and power to shut them down. So, stop trying and start doing!

BLUE WAVE ON 3…BLUE WAVE ON 3…1...2…3

GO BLUE WAVE!

www.pvbluewave.com

Why you ask, I ask, why not?

By Coach Mike

What a great roller coaster ride this season has been! It was full of many things, such as; hard work, learning, emotions, failure, successes and as always lots of FUN. No matter what, we are learning to have fun and find the positives in everything we do. Why, you ask? The other day I was having a conversation with a friend and as most conversations start out we greeted each other. She asked, “How are you?” I responded with a resounding “WONDERFUL”. She asked “why are you so wonderful.” I said, because “I choose too to be.” The why, is simply a choice. Why wake up in the morning and choose to be miserable and have a horrible day. That doesn’t sound very appealing does it? Believe it or not this is what a vast majority of people do. They only look for the negatives, measuring the temperature around them and then going along with it. I decide everyday to wake up and challenge myself to find the positives. Every moment is a chance for me to practice something and improve, I choose to set the temperature and be a thermostat. Why you ask, I ask, why not?

We as a team are learning to challenge the status quo around us and become thermostats in our environments. At our championship meets we love to cheer and show our team pride. We as a team have many high standards that are not shared amongst other teams in the area. One thing is that we swim finals and we do not scratch out. We as a team plan on making finals so we can represent our team. Another, is that we swim relays, so we can represent our team at these competitions at the fullest extent we are capable. Speaking of relays, one of our BLUE WAVERS asked me at Long Course Senior Champ finals “Why are we swimming this relay?” We were the only girls relay and we ended up racing a boy’s relay from another team. This question sparked the answer to why we set such high standards and do more than just swim for a time here at BLUE WAVE. Why do we have a suit policy which restricts the use of those tech suits; why do we swim relays; why do we take advantage of swimming in finals every chance we get; why is character first? Why…the real reason is because we challenge the status quo and want to set an example in Potomac Valley Swimming of what a great team is! A great team is a team that works hard to have the opportunity to swim at meets such as this. We love to have fun competing with each other and to set a higher standard within PVS and USA Swimming. We challenge what it means to be a USA Swimming team. We are a team of values and passion and everything we do extenuates that.

At this summer’s championships we did well as a team amongst the other teams in PVS, placing first at Senior Champs and first at 14 and Under Championships both in the medium team division. This however is not what we consider winning. If we only viewed winning as claiming a title or finishing in the top 16 to make it back to finals, or getting a time then winning becomes uncontrollable. The great coach John Wooden never spoke about winning to his athletes and he became one of the most winningest coaches in college basketball. He coached the controllables and expected excellence out of his players at every practice and game. They learned that every practice and competition was an opportunity to improve and learn. He valued character and valued traits such as perseverance, hard work and dedication amongst other traits that all great leaders have. So, how do we define winning? Winning is showing up to practice each day ready to give our best for the team (family); winning is balancing school, social and swimming and being successful at each (dedication); winning is never backing down from a challenge (mental toughness); winning is qualifying for one of our big meets to represent your team due to winning at each of the above. We believe that these are things that will not only help you winning here but win at life.

Why do you do what you do? How do you win each day? These are all in our control and are based on the choices we make.

BLUE WAVE ON 3…BLUE WAVE ON 3…1...2…3

GO BLUE WAVE!

FAMILY – DEDICATION – MENTAL TOUGHNESS