As we close in on our team’s championships we should be reminded of how fortunate we are. We lose sight of this because we get so wrapped up in ourselves and our problems and accomplishments that we forget to look outward and realize that no matter how big our problems are someone may be dealing with something more. A gentleman named Matthew Jaffers reminded the Baltimore Ravens of this and I think this is something we should all hear.

The next time you have a problem think of this and remember that your problem may not be so bad. At championships lets put everything in perspective and go out there and swim fast and have fun. Lets show everyone what it means to be a BLUE WAVE Swimmer! GO BLUE WAVE!

The Message

"To Whom It May Concern,

"My name is Matthew Jeffers. I am a senior at Towson University majoring in acting, and I have been a die-hard Ravens fan since Baltimore welcomed you with open arms in 1996. As you, the Ravens, continue to battle through tough losses and heated criticism, allow me to share some thoughts with you. You are in uncharted territory. You (and us) have had the gift and pleasure of consistently winning for years, and frankly, you have spoiled us. You have maintained a level of professionalism and inspiring play for so long that we have lost touch with what it feels like to have our feet in the mud. And I'm sure it is an even worse feeling for you, the ones on the field, than it is for the ones in the stands.

"And let me let you in on a little secret. Life doesn't care about streaks. It does not care about three-game losing streaks, or four-game win streaks. It does not care if you WANT to win, if you NEED to win. At the end of the day, life is simply unfair. I am short-statured. I am 21 years old, but stand only at 4'2”. Over my lifetime I have endured 20 surgeries, some small, others life-threatening. I have had a tracheotomy, I have had blood transfusions, I have spent summers in a hip spica cast, and I've had to learn how to walk again. My last surgery was in 2003, and I acquired the naive mindset that I was free from the bondage of heartache. I had the mindset that I had ‘done my time.’ And then, in February of 2011, my mother was diagnosed with a stage IV brain tumor. As I write this, the doctors at JHU are determining whether or not the next step should be Hospice care. So you tell me, is life fair? When you give every ounce you have, and all you have to show for it is a loss in overtime, is that fair? When families in Newtown, CT go into their child's room, but have no child to kiss goodnight, is that fair?

"We live in a painful world, no doubt about it. But let me tell you this: The ONLY disability in life is a bad attitude. The ONLY disability in life............is a bad attitude. A positive attitude is the most powerful combatant to life's misfortune. The will to fight, to survive, to win. It is the secret weapon I use, and I think I'm turning out OK. When you play on Sunday, let it not be to win a division or to silence the critics or prove somebody wrong or end a losing skid. Let it be a dedication to that simple yet powerful notion that life can be conquered with the right outlook. And I promise you, I promise you that everything else will take care of itself. Go get 'em on Sunday. I wish you all the best on your journey to The Lombardi."

---Matthew---

“The only disability in life is a bad attitude.”

-Scott Hamilton

EXPECTING PERFECTION CAN BE THE ONE BIGGEST OBSTACLE TO YOUR SUCCESS

By Dr. Goldberg

"PERFECTION IS NOT ACHIEVABLE....IT CAN ONLY BE PURSUED." John Wooden, Hall of Fame NCAA basketball coach 

Want to know one of the biggest causes of sports performances problems out there? It's something that will erode your motivation, kill your self-confidence and undermine your love of the game. And it probably represents the one biggest obstacle between you and your sports dream! Drum roll please..........PERFECTIONISM!.....That's right, the one thing that can sabotage your goals and suck the joy out of your sport is your dissatisfaction with anything short of perfection!

All too often I get calls from struggling athletes across all sports, those in slumps, stuck on plateaus or struggling with some other form of repetitive performance problem and when I dig a little deeper into their problems, the individual's perfectionism rears it's ugly little head!

Now don't get me wrong here: It's absolutely fine and even desirable for you to strive to be the best you can be or to even strive to be perfect. The fact is that we can always learn more, do better, get stronger, faster or more skilled! Your quest for excellence is NOT the problem here. The problem is when you EXPECT perfection in this quest, and then, when you fall short, you use that "failure" as a stick to emotionally beat yourself up!

Perfectionists don't understand that making mistakes and failing is a critical part of getting better and growing as an athlete and person. Why? because we learn exactly what we did that didn't work and what we need to do differently next time every time that we mess up or fall on our faces. In this way, our failures provide us with valuable feedback that will help us get better and move to the next level! You don't have to like failing much. But you do have to learn to recognize that you can't get to your goals without failing ENOUGH!

Perfectionists hate failing and making mistakes to an extreme. To the perfectionist, mistakes and failures are something that you should feel embarrassed about and something that you want to avoid at all costs! Because of this attitude, perfectionists don't really take the time to get curious about what they did wrong and what they need to do differently next time. They are too busy being furious with themselves! Perfectionists are also experts at finding all of the warts and flaws in their performances. When coaches and parents weigh in on how well the athlete may have performed, the perfectionist responds by "knowing better!" He/she "knows the real story here and those around him/her aren't looking closely enough!

To the perfectionist, a 95 on a test is a "Crap, I missed those 5 points!" and feeling disappointed instead of a solid "A" and feeling proud. This makes the perfectionist an expert in distorting reality. They wear tinted glasses that always enables them to see what they did wrong! Of course, the problem with this X-Ray vision that sees through the success and finds the failure is that they never feel like they're good enough. Deep down, or not even so deep down, the perfectionist feels inadequate. He/she struggles with low self-confidence because they never really allow themselves to celebrate their victories! And if by some miracle, they do manage to perform flawlessly, then they immediately move onto the next performance and the need to do it all over again!

Remember, perfectionism is a doubled edge sword. If you use it the right way, to pursue excellence and continually challenge yourself to get better, it can cut down obstacles in front of you and clear a path to your sports dreams. However, if you use it the wrong way, to continually highlight everything that is wrong with you and your performance, then it can shred your self-confidence, kill your motivation and destroy your dream! STRIVE FOR PERFECTION EVERY DAY, PURSUE IT AGGRESSIVELY.....BUT DON'T EXPECT IT! 

Reposted from Dr. Goldberg’s Blog at www.competivedge.com

"You're Missing the Point!" "It's about making it hard, not about making it easier."

By John Leonard

Our friends the Australians have an expression...to be "gobsmacked". Heaven only knows the derivation, but the picture I have in my mind is getting literally "smacked in the face with a fish". Sort of a stunning and "attention riveting event."

One night during Christmas Vacation training, one of the nice young men on our team, (I'll call him Benito) did something that led to my exclamation at the top of this article.  He's a good young man, and he was simply responding to the prevailing ethic of our society, which is to constantly seek to make things "easier".

In the process, he lost track of a critical lesson and a great opportunity. It resulted in my rather loudly and strongly making my point above.

We'd finished about 6 K of water work in 90 minutes and were proceeding to our 30 minutes of dryland work on a cool Florida evening, with a decent chill in the air.  My first instruction was about some med ball throws. Following that, it was "3 sets Med ball situps, ½ twist, 100 with 30 seconds rest."

So far, all is well. Benito moves into the situp phase well enough and does his first set. Around that time, another athlete has to leave....tossing her med ball into the bin....Benito, who is about 30 situps into his second hundred, hops up, and grabs the just discarded ball, which, I immediately note is 4 pounds LIGHTER. 

"BENITO, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? THIS IS A SET OF 100!"

"Coach, I wanted this other ball....." (as explanation for stopping in mid-set, which he knows is a team no-no)

"WHY? THIS IS A SET OF 100!"

"Coach, this ball has handles and its lighter."

Now revert to the top of the page for my next comments.

I then stopped the whole group and gathered them around me...."guys, why are we here?" (various answers) "we'd better all be here with the intent to get better." (various nods, affirmations, and some blank stares....) "to get better, we Need to Do Whatever Is HARDER, Not what is easier, yes?"

Lights go on in most eyes, most heads nod. Notably, not ALL heads nod.

I went on to explain that sport, done correctly is counter-culture. The prevailing culture around us values and esteems "making things easier". It's EVERYWHERE in our world.  And it is EXACTLY what keeps us from being our best. As aspiring athletes, and coaches, we need to SEEK OUT that which is harder, more uncomfortable, more demanding. Not look for the lighter ball with handles.

Benito got it. As soon as I said "back to work", he found the biggest, nastiest med-ball he could find WITHOUT handles, and restarted his second set of 100. The majority of the rest of the athletes did likewise. When you point it out to them...."they know". 

But I found myself wondering, if a COACH didn't point it out to them, would they ever get it on their own? I think that's why we describe it as "counter-culture."

Each of my athletes has heard and "understood" the expression "get comfortable with being uncomfortable" if you want to get better. They can all intellectually explain it. But on a cool Florida night when they were tired, most could not see the application "on their own."

A wonderful lesson for me as well as for my athletes.

John Leonard is the Director of the Americans Swimming Coaches Association and a active swimming coach.