By Coach Mike
Being a bit of a Star Wars geek, I have always loved this quote by Yoda.
“No! Try not! Do or do not, there is no try.” -Yoda
However, I was always confused, by “there is no try”. What did he mean by that? You grow up and your parents say to you, just try it and see if you like it. Teachers said, just give it a try and see if it works. There are so many more examples, but when Yoda spoke those words, he teaches a very valuable lesson. When you say, “you’ll try”, you are lying. If you tell yourself that you’re “going to try”, you’ve subconsciously planned to fail, and it gives your brain an out. This doesn’t mean that you must do everything that is asked of you. If you don’t think that something is the best use of your time and energy, you can honestly and clearly (and kindly) say no. But if you choose to take something on, commit to it with all your might. You either do it or you don’t and if you fail in the process of doing at least you truly learned something.
What I’m getting at is that words are powerful. They set expectations and limits and send messages to our brains and even our bodies about how much we are capable of. You may discover that you may use self-limiting words without even realizing it. Our subconscious may choose safe words that make unimportant things feel huge and other words that allow wiggle room to avoid doing the big things we want to do.
Weasel Words
As I was scrolling through the team’s Instragram feed one of my favorite authors, Dave Asprey, posted a pic with the term “Weasel Words”. In his new book “Game Changers” he delves into four particularly insidious weasel words that you likely use many times a day without even noticing it. “Try” is one of those words, here are the other three.
Can’t: It is perhaps the most destructive word. The word “can’t” mean’s there is absolutely no possible way you can do something. When you say “I can’t do…” something, you may actually mean: I could use some help; I don’t have the tools to do it; I don’t know how to do it; or you I don’t want to do it. Using “can’t” creates confusion and stress between your conscious and unconscious parts of your brain. Instead use words that mean the same thing to both parts of the brain and it will help you be calmer and more empowered as a person. “Can’t” is always a lie. Learn to see it that way, and you’ll solve problems differently.
Need: You probably use this word in all sorts of ways; “I need a snack” or “I need this new iPhone”. You don’t need those things and lying to your brain about what you need is making you weak, turning a desire into a straight-up survival issue. There are only a few things we do need: oxygen, water, food, shelter, and warmth. The rest are wants, not needs.
Bad: Very few things are inherently “bad”; bad is a value judgement you assign something. When you label things as “bad” your subconscious listens and prepares for impending doom. Most of the time what we mean is; I don’t like it or don’t want it. The world doesn’t naturally fall into two camps. There are truly tragic things, such as violence and natural disasters, but when it comes to our everyday lives judging things through a filter of good or bad is limiting and creates unnecessary obstacles. When labeling something as “bad” you miss out on an opportunity to figure out how it can be good.
“Your words become your world.” Nadeem Kazi
Our subconscious interprets what it hears very literally. Your mind and body will follow the direction your words lead. The words you use hold immense power. Power to fuel your confidence and ambition and power to make you feel anxious and inadequate. Power to make a strong first impression and power to be quickly forgotten. Power to create opportunities and power to shut them down. So, stop trying and start doing!
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