“You are awful!”
“Quit now!”
“You’ll never win!”
Have you ever caught yourself saying these things to yourself? How do you feel when you think like this? Do you let yourself get away with it or do you put a stop to these thoughts and try to be more positive? In this article I will address something almost everyone has been guilty of at some point in their lives—allowing that voice in their head to be excessively mean.
Be Your Own Best Friend
Take a moment to write down some of the negative things you have said to yourself over the past year. Now look over that list and imagine your best friend saying those things to you. Do you find it hard to imagine someone who cares about you being so nasty? When it comes to negative self-talk, I find it even harder to imagine that the one person (you) who has to be nice to you is being so mean. If we know our good friend – someone who always has our back – would never be negative, why is it difficult for us to be kind to ourselves? The answer is simple: because we forget we’re supposed to be unconditionally supportive of ourselves. My first piece of advice to combating negative self-talk is to be your own best friend and say the things to yourself that you would say to someone you cared about who was struggling.
Choose the “Good” Voice
In cartoons, whenever a person is struggling with a decision they would have an angel on one shoulder and a devil on the other. In real life, these “voices” are in our head. We have this devilish little thing in one part of our brain telling us all of the reasons we will fail. In the other part of our brain we have a cheerleader (AKA “Positive Patty”) telling us how awesome we are and why we will succeed. Even in the most optimistic and confident people both of these voices exist to some extent. The difference between the optimists and the pessimists is that the optimists rarely hear the little devil because they are too busy listening to the cheerleader, while the pessimists are turning the megaphone over to the negative voice. If your “inner devil” is loud and obnoxious, you don’t have to fight him and try to make him go away, tell him he’s going to have to be content just hanging out because you’re putting him on mute and are going to CHOOSE to listen to the positive voice that’s keeping you optimally focused.
It’s Not All Bad
I myself am a pretty positive person and am good at taking a “glass half full” perspective. However, I recognize that not everyone is wired like this and some people tend to see all that could go wrong or has gone wrong and let that bog down their minds. So I in no way think that “being positive” is easy for people. In fact, I think that most people do see the downside of situations, but this isn’t necessarily bad. For many swimmers, in order to do well, they have to know potential pitfalls and plan for them. They have to recognize mistakes they’ve made in the past and work to make sure they don’t happen again. This is when having a “glass half empty” mindset is helpful, when it makes you work hard so that you can fill up the glass. It’s only harmful if you’re thinking “the glass is half empty and I don’t have a pitcher to fill it up.” On the flipside, someone who always sees the positive may become content and not feel that their glass needs to be full. That contentment doesn’t necessarily help swimmers to reach their peak because they are too optimistic and maybe don’t put in enough work. So again, being wired to see the downside isn’t all bad, as long as it’s a motivator rather than a hindrance to performance.
Change the Negatives
If your negative self-talk does start to get in the way, stop the negative thoughts, reframe them and refocus them by following three easy steps:
1) Become aware of your thinking habits. Know situations in which you have a tendency to be negative and what your specific mental obstacles are.
When I’m in a tough workout, I convince myself I’m tired and can’t go anymore. I catch myself saying, “You’ve worked hard enough, no need to push it any further.”
2) Reframe the negative thought into something more realistic or more positive.
“I have worked hard today, but I’m still afloat so I can keep pushing even harder.”
or
“I know when I exhaust myself I have more confidence on race day—that’s why I’m going to keep pushing.”
3) Refocus your thoughts on what is important now and what can help you to swim well.
“Keep my strokes smooth and long, just like I want them to be in the last leg of my race. I know I’ll be tired then so I have to develop good habits now.”
As you can see, none of these thoughts are super-duper positive, though you can certainly make them be if you’re up for the challenge. Most sport psychology books will tell you to focus on only the positive and throw all negative thoughts away. This is the ideal way of thinking and is what you want to be working towards. However, it’s hard for someone who is always negative to say to themselves, “I can do it! I feel great!” so if you don’t currently fit into the category of someone who can flip the switch from negative to positive, try to at least find a middle ground where you go from destructive to constructive. If you are negative, start by just getting yourself to be realistic, process-focused or slightly more positive. When that becomes easy, then you should be able to bring out your inner cheerleader and maintain a positive mindset.
It’s the Little Things
Some people need a physical release from their negative mentality. Wash your face off and say to yourself “wash away that race,” do some jumping jacks, brush the “devil” off your shoulder, listen to music, go over your race plan, have routine…find something that triggers a mental/emotional release from whatever negatives you’re experiencing. Explore what works for you outside of swimming when you’re having a bad day, see if that can help you at meets and practices. Becoming a more positive person is something that will benefit you not only in sport but in life in general. By learning how to control your thinking you’ll experience greater enjoyment as well as enhanced performance.
Make it Great!
Dr. Aimee
About Aimee C. Kimball, PhD:
Dr. Kimball is the Director of Mental Training for the UPMC Center for Sports Medicine. She is an Association of Applied Sport Psychology Certified Consultant, and is a member of the American Psychological Association, the United States Olympic Committee’s Sport Psychology Registry, the USA Swimming Sports Medicine Network, and the NCAA Speakers Bureau. She works with athletes, coaches, and parents to help them achieve success in sport and life.
For more information contact: kimballac@upmc.edu, 412-432-3777, http://sportsmedicine.upmc.com/MentalTrainingProgram.htm
