13 Lessons From the Movie ‘Peaceful Warrior’

by Mark DeNicola. of http://www.collective-evolution.com/

There are countless movies we could all think of that feature a great deal of truth, consciousness and even powerful messages. In fact in January of 2012 we actually started a list of these movies that has now grown to feature over 100 titles (SEE THE LIST HERE). One of the movies on that list, and one of my personal favorites is Peaceful Warrior starring Scott Mechlowicz and Nick Nolte. Based on a book written by Dan Millman, which was based on a true life story, Peaceful Warrior is a powerful movie experience that I more than recommend to all of you that have not seen it yet. As a nice supplementary piece to the film however I have decided to put together a list of lessons that I took from the film and would like to share with you all.

1. Fear creates restlessness and contributes to a lack of peace within your current reality –

Makes a lot of sense when you really think about it. Fear, no matter it’s trigger, takes you out of the moment by forcing you to focus on your physical and emotional reaction to it. How can we expect to be at peace with this moment if we can’t even truly look at it because we instead are run by the fear it seems to have created.

2. Doing something for an end result makes it harder to accomplish –

On the surface this may seem non-sensical since there are countless examples we can all think of where people let a desired end result motivate them throughout the entire process of trying to attain it. Why I still think this statement holds some validity is because the expectations of an end result can often discourage and downplay the process in getting there. Rather than setting an end result of losing 20 pounds in 1 month and then gauging our success on whether or not that was accomplished, wouldn’t it be easier to just choose to begin taking care of our bodies or working out and letting the results be what they are at whatever pace they occur.

3. Old mentalities and past experience define our limitations –

Who ever said that the highest you could jump was to barely touch the bottom of the mesh on your basketball net? Was it the set in stone voice of your heart/ soul? Or was it just what you have done the last few times you tried? Too often we let past results dictate what our bodies can and cannot do, rather than simply being in each attempt as a completely separate experience.

4. Rushed/ busy mentality prevents us from experiencing the moment –

We all lead busy lives. Lives that often result in us multi-tasking (eating on the go, talking while we work, etc.) This lesson simply reminds us to take some time to actually fully experience one thing at a time. No matter how mundane or complicated the task we might just be surprised by how much it has to offer when we fully give ourselves to it.

5. Don’t run away from defeat, in fact stop evaluating everything as a win or a loss (success/ failure) –

In the human experience we take something out of everything. It just seems to be a lot easier to value and enjoy what we take when it gets coupled with a favorable result. Imagine we didn’t evaluate all of our results and instead focused on what we took from the experience regardless.

6. Thoughts don’t reveal anything about you –

Thoughts are just thoughts, many of them arise automatically and can very easily be used to either falsely satisfy or beat yourself up. Rather than letting your thoughts run you, simply observe them for what they are, perhaps even take the time to see where they might have come from (what triggered them, what contributed to that view/ opinion.) We might just be surprised by how much of what we think of regularly is really quite useless and unfounded.

7. There is never nothing going on –

Boredom. We’ve all experienced it at times to varying degrees. The truth of the matter is even in those most boring of moments there is plenty going on. Next time you find yourself bored take the time to truly observe your surroundings, realize that your very existence alone is quite the thing to be going on, and see if anything in particular calls for you to get involved with.

8. Society/ media/ others love to thrust limitations on us, they only become true if we accept them –

People can say whatever they want and say that its based on whatever they choose to credit it to. It only becomes a true part of your reality if you truly accept it. Think about the countless number of people who have defied what we previously thought possible, imagine if they let our previous definition of it not being possible stop them from showing us otherwise.

9. Everything has a purpose, it’s up to us to find it –

Even the most difficult, challenging or emotionally engaging experiences in life have a greater purpose and servitude to our existence. It’s our choice whether we want to look internally and find it or continue to dwell on the outward experience it created.

10. Death does not equal sad. Sad equals the fact that some people never live –

A lot of people find a great deal of peace and strength in death, for many that is a lot more of a profound experience than what many of us call daily life.

11. Don’t give up what you love, find love in what you do –

The idea of giving up something that you love only stems from a disappointment in how it has worked out thus far. Rather than letting the past bury you, find the love in what you do and realize that no matter how it plays out it is a part of you.

12. “What if I can’t do it?” That’s the future, throw it out -

All we have and can impact is this moment. Why would we let thoughts about a future moment hold us back from doing something that in this moment we would like to do.

13. Getting caught up in wants leads to nothing but suffering –

Think about it. When we don’t get what we want we define it as a version of suffering. When we do get what we want we quickly suffer because we can’t hold onto it (it either slips from our grasp or loses its previous value shortly after we attain it.)

Whether all of these lessons were intended to be shared through the book/ film or not, they definitely stood out for me. Be sure to contribute any other lessons or favorite parts from the film in the comment section and also feel free to suggest any other particular movies that you found to be loaded with truth that you recommend for an upcoming article. You can also watch the official HD trailer for the movie here:

FAMOUS WORDS FROM SPORTS FIGURES ABOUT COMPETITION

By Lindsey Wilson on February 9, 2015

We’ve outlined below 20 quotes and the lessons behind them from athletes and coaches on different aspects of competition: from prepping for competition to how to finish one, we’ve pulled out and summarized what we feel are the most relevant points about this thing we love about sports.

1. SET THE BAR FOR YOURSELF.

It’s really easy to get wrapped up into thinking competition is about one game, one moment, one event that will summarize who you are as an athlete. While athletes revel in the passion and pain of making decisions in a single moment that will affect the rest of their lives, that moment actually rides on what is done every single day up until then.

When you train, you shouldn’t be training better than the competition: you should be training better than you. That time you got on your laps yesterday, today aim to better them. That weight you benched yesterday? Up it today. Know what your expectations are for you, whether its laps, reps, throws, spikes, or goals, and then live up to them.

You have competition every day because you set such high standards for yourself that you have to go out every day and live up to that.Michael Jordan, former professional basketball player

2. FIND AND STAY IN YOUR “ZONE”.

The “Zone”: that mysterious place of athletic ecstasy where effort turns to ease, you find your rhythm, and doing your best leaves you with more to give. Ursula Grobler has talked about how she was in her Zone as she achieved her 2010 Erg World Championship.

Part of the magic of finding and staying in your Zone during competition is that you’re no longer competing in your mind. That is, you’re not preoccupied with thinking about what you’re doing. You’ve trained enough; your body and muscles know what they’re supposed to do. Just let them do it and enjoy the ride, enjoy the game.

When I go out on the ice, I just think about my skating. I forget it is a competition.Katarina Witt, retired German figure skater

3. EXPECT THE UNEXPECTED.

No matter how hard you train, no matter how deep in the Zone you are, it’s almost inevitable that, somewhere along the line, you’ll be taken by surprise. Whether by weather, a teammate, an injury, or an opponent, there’s much that’s unpredictable about sports. But, admittedly, that’s one of the reasons why we love it so much.

Therefore, look forward to being caught off guard, train for it, expect the unexpected, and you’ll never be thrown off your game.

You’ve got to expect things are going to go wrong. And we always need to prepare ourselves for handling the unexpected.Neil Armstrong, American astronaut and first person to walk on the moon

4. COMPETITIVE TOUGHNESS IS A LEARNED SKILL, NOT AN INNATE GIFT.

Some of the most accomplished athletes were also some of the least expected. From horse racing (remember the unlikely horse, Seabiscuit?) to the Paralympics (Aimee Mullins), we learn over and over again that competitive toughness isn’t always about the best genes, the best coach, the best equipment, but about who has the best attitude for learning what it means to be a tough competitor.

Competitive toughness is an acquired skill and not an inherited gift.Christine 'Chris' Evert, former World No. 1 professional tennis player

5. FEEL THE PRESSURE.

Nerves are telling and a great indicator of how well you’ve prepared. While you ought not go into a competition a jittery bundle, going in without any nervousness is a sign that you may be suffering from overconfidence, a trait that can be just as detrimental as a lack of confidence.

So, all in moderation, good athlete: be confident, but be on your toes, too, because if you’re not at least a little nervous, you’re not doing your part in expecting the unexpected (see quote #4).

If you’re not just a little bit nervous before a match, you probably don’t have the expectations of yourself that you should have.Hale Irwin, American Golfer

6. FOCUS!

In line with confidence is clarity. You’ll experience clarity of mind (i.e. thinking about “absolutely nothing”) when you find and play in your Zone.

Surely you’ve heard the saying “Time flies when you’re having fun.” Why does this adage ring true? Because, when you’re having fun, you’re not thinking about the time, not thinking about what you’re doing. You’re just focusing on the moment, on this thing that you love, whether it’s spending time with someone special or doing something you enjoy. And that’s precisely what you need to excel in your sport: a gratitude and love of the game.

In doing that, you’ll find your focus.

Concentration is the ability to think about absolutely nothing when it is absolutely necessary.Ray Knight, American former MLB in-fielder

7. DO IT FOR THE LOVE OF THE GAME.

We can’t say it enough: love your sport and it’ll love you back. It’s rare, if not impossible, to meet an individual who is exceedingly successful who doesn’t  absolutely love what they do, and there’s a good reason for it: when we have a strong passion for the task at hand, we tend to concentrate harder, focus more, and put every ounce of sweat and effort into doing that task the best we possibly can.

Just play. Have fun. Enjoy the game.Michael Jordan, former professional basketball player

8. SUMMING IT UP!

So, let’s summarize what we’ve covered so far: concentration/focus, confidence, and a love of the game that drives us to continuously improve. Yep – Arnold Palmer had his 4 C’s right.

Get your priorities straight and, while you may occasionally lose a game, you’ll never truly lose competing against the person who matters most: YOU.

Concentration, confidence, competitive urge, capacity for enjoyment.Arnold Palmer, American golfer

9. REMEMBER THE BIG PICTURE.

Losing stinks, but it’s an inevitable part of competition. Even the best athletes don’t win 100% of the time. If we’re only competing to stock our shelves full of medals, trophies, certificates, and titles, the disappointment of losing will be hard to swallow and our athletic careers will be nothing more than a disappointing struggle.

By looking at the big picture—on why you’re competing (because you love it!) and for who (YOU!)—you can move past those intermittent losses with a strong mental resilience and bounce back into the sport with a renewed and unrelenting fervor.

I think it’s really important to look at the big picture instead of just one competition.Shannon Miller, American gymnast

10. YOU ARE YOUR OWN POWER…

Part of realizing the Big Picture is recognizing that you are your most passionate fan, toughest coach, and hardest critic. You can have friends who encourage you, but they can’t make you want to do well. You can have a coach who pushes you, but they can’t force you to practice.

You are your greatest power and the only competitor you’ll face who really matters.

The best competition I have is against myself to become better.John Wooden, American Basketball Player and Coach

11. …AND YOUR ULTIMATE COMPETITOR.

As you spend more time with someone, you get to know their tiniest flaws and smallest successes, their greatest secrets and most hidden fears. It’s human nature to become critical of these things, causing us to either like or dislike these people more as time goes on.

We’re around ourselves all the time–you can’t escape you, after all–so, naturally, you’re your own biggest critic. Criticism doesn’t have to be followed by feelings of failure or offense. It can be the source of growth, improvement, and acceptance of ourselves as works in progress. Criticism can bring out the ultimate competitor in ourselves or the biggest loser; can cause us to fight harder or to back down; can make us see both how far we’ve come and how far we’ve yet got to go.

There’s great truth in the old saying “Better the criticism of a friend, than the kiss of an enemy.” You’re stuck being your greatest critic, no doubt. What really matters is the source of the criticism–does it come from a friend or a foe? Will you choose to be your greatest friend, or your greatest enemy?–and how you choose to react to it.

This ability to conquer oneself is no doubt the most precious of all things sports bestows.Olga Korbut, four-time Olympic Gold Medal Gymnast

12. DON’T EXAGGERATE THE PRESSURE YOU’RE UNDER.

Have you ever had trouble sleeping and, in an effort to sleep, told yourself you must go to sleep? If you’ve experienced that dilemma, you’ll know that, the harder you try, the more awake you feel! Maybe you think, “If I fall asleep now, I’ll get 8 hours rest,” then “If I fall asleep now, I’ll get 7 hours rest,” and so on and so forth into the night.

Why doesn’t putting more pressure on yourself work? Likely because, when you start counting the hours, you start thinking negatively about what will happen if you don’t fall asleep right now: sluggish practice, missed class, a groggy next day.

Letting our minds run away thinking about all the what-if’s and maybe’s and pressuring ourselves to “get it right” can, ironically, distract us from performing at our very best. Worrying about pressure leads to worrying about failure, and, as top performing athletes, we shouldn’t be wasting our time on negative thinking and anxiety.

Pressure is a word that is misused in our vocabulary. When you start thinking of pressure, it’s because you’ve started to think of failure.Tommy Lasorda, MLB player (former) and sports manager

13. SELF-WORTH MATTERS.

Low self-confidence is a performance killer and a barrier to a successful athletic career. It’s one of the many signs of depression, a serious condition that can suck you of energy, ambition, and purpose.

Winning and achieving goals requires that you must (1) believe you are capable of achieving those goals and (2) that you are worthy of achieving those goals. A simple mantra like “I deserve this” can propel you forward. Remember: the best competitors have an IDENTITY and they prepare in accordance to that identity. If you identify yourself as a less-than-deserving athlete, you’ll never make it.

If, on the other hand, you see yourself as an athlete worthy of success, well… you get the picture.

Before you can win, you have to believe you are worthy.Mike Ditka, American football player and coach

14. HARD WORK IS IRREPLACEABLE.

Money does a lot of things, but it doesn’t do everything. It’ll buy you a new car, but it won’t take care of it for you. It’ll impress your neighbor, but you can’t buy love with it. Neither can money win you Olympic Gold or an NFL Championship or a World Cup trophy.

You can’t wish things into existence, either. You can’t sit back and wish for your lap time to get better, or for your muscles to get stronger, or for your lungs to breathe harder. For those things, only hard work will do, so you’d best get to it.

The Six W’s: Work will win when wishing won’t.Todd Blackledge, former American Football Quarterback

15. “LUCK” IS MADE, NOT OBTAINED.

Luck has little to do with success. Even lottery millionaires, as lucky as they are to have won it big, can fail miserably financially if they don’t learn and practice good money management skills. True success comes from hard training and from being diligent in working toward your set goal, not from luck.

The more I practice, the luckier I get.Carl Jerome 'Jerry' Barber, American Professional Golfer and 1961 PGA Champion

16. PAIN: IT’S GOOD FOR YOU.

Sports are no easy task. There’s a lot to remember, a lot of rules to follow and things to do. There’s a lot of information funneling through your body and brain to get you from start to finish. All that work is bound to hurt.

Pain, like losing, is part of the athletic game, so, if you’re going to go all the way, be prepared to suffer for it. But, trust us, it’s a good pain.

Ask any athlete: We all hurt at times. I’m asking my body to go through seven different tasks. To ask it not to ache would be too much.Jacqueline ‘Jackie’ Joyner-Kersee, retired American athlete, one of the all-time greatest athletes in the women’s heptathlon

17. OH, THE BEAUTY OF IT!

Aimee Mullins is a unique example of what makes being an athlete so awesome: she is relentless, powerful, and strong in both body and mind. In one word, she’s beautiful.

Excelling in sports require that we be the best we can be, and that means we need to transform into our most complete selves, starting on the inside. It takes strong character to push through the physical and mental pain, the agonizing losses, and the dullness of repetitive practices. In that strength there is beauty and, in that beauty, we discover the true athlete within ourselves.

The power of the human will to compete and the drive to excel beyond the body’s normal capabilities is most beautifully demonstrated in the arena of sport.Aimee Mullins, American Paralympic athlete, model, and double amputee

18. ON THE NEVER-ENDING BATTLE

Even when an athlete “makes it”, the battle isn’t over. Self-improvement is a constant uphill struggle and the instant we slide off that mountain top another athlete will be there, ready to take our spot. Competition requires that an athlete be prepared constantly in body, spirit, and mind, and that means doing the drills—the physical ones and the mental ones—even when you’ve already mastered them.

Success isn’t owned – it’s leased. And rent is due every day. Every single day, someone’s coming for your job. Someone’s coming for your greatness. If you’re the greatest, someone wants to be the greatest, and so if you’re not constantly improving your game, somebody else is.J.J. Watt, Houston Texans All-Pro defensive end

19. THE GAME VS. THE WIN

If you could be handed a gold medal for your sport of choice today, without having to earn it, would you?For the true athlete, the answer is a resounding “no”.

True athletes we love the game, love the competition; we love the pain and the thrill of victory. That’s why winning, for us, isn’t everything. Sure, it’s something, but not everything. When the athlete plays the game, he plays to challenge himself, not necessarily to win.

Finishing races is important, but racing is more important.Dale Earnhardt Sr., American race car driver

20. FEAR CAN’T BE BEAT, BUT IT CAN BE TAMED.

Even the greatest heroes feel fear, so for an athlete to rattle off that they’re not afraid of going up against a
worthy competitor is simply a show of hubris, perhaps even immaturity, not a sign of having “made it”.

Fear is a natural response and a completely normal (and healthy!) one. Fear can either drive us back, or push us forward to play harder and stronger. When you’re up against something that scares you, which path will you choose?

A pilot who says he has never been frightened in an airplane is, I’m afraid, lying.Louise Thaden, American aviation pioneer and holder of numerous aviation records; first woman to win Bendix (air racing) trophy

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What lessons have you learned about competition that you’d like to share? Post them here for other readers to enjoy and benefit from!

LINDSEY WILSON

Co-Founder of Positive Performance, Lindsey has been teaching, writing and speaking about mental training for the last 6 years. Lindsey writes regularly on mental training. Her articles have appeared in ESPN’s HoopGurlz.com, AVCA, NSCAA, NYTimes.com, VISIONS magazine, FullCourtPress. com. Contact her at lindsey@positiveperform.com

The Power of Vulnerability

As a coach it is important to always revisit the fundamentals as they are the most important. This should also be the case for life. Dr. Seuss taught us some very important life lessons when we were growing up.

1. Today you are You, that is trurer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than you.
2. Why fit in when you were born to stand out?
3. You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose.
4. Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.
5. Today I shall behave, as if this is the day I will be remembered.

Dr. Seuss was basically telling us, in these five life lessons to be vulnerable. We tend to equate vulnerability with weakness, but according to author and researcher Brené Brown vulnerability is the courage to be imperfect. “Courage, in its original definition of courage, when it first came into the English language -- it's from the Latin word cor, meaning heart -- and the original definition was to tell the story of who you are with your whole heart. Vulnerability is the core, the heart, the center of meaningful human experiences,” she says.

So what is vulnerability? As described by Brené, it is uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure. It is the unstable feeling we get when we step out of our comfort zone or do something that forces us to loosen control. "What most of us fail to understand...is that vulnerability is also the cradle of the emotions and experiences that we crave," says Dr. Brown. "Vulnerability is the birthplace of love, belonging, joy, courage, empathy, and creativity." 

Here is an example situation. Let's say that after reading a few articles about the benefits of yoga, you decide to try it yourself. You buy a mat, find a nearby class, and put on some stretchy pants. But when you get to the studio and see other students walking confidently in, their mats slung over their shoulders, you begin to feel strange. Your heart rate speeds up, your palms grow sweaty, and you think, Why in the world did I ever think I could do this?

This shaky feeling is vulnerability, and it makes you want to turn around and go home, where you can escape the potential judgment of others and your own fear of the unfamiliar. But by pushing through those doors, you are doing something far more healthy and transformative. You’re also opening yourself up to the opportunity to make new friends and learn a new, healthy habit. But if you run away the second those shaky feelings arise, you're just reinforcing the voice in your head that says I'm not good enough.

One of the tragic ironies of modern life is that so many people feel isolated from each other by the very feelings they have in common: including a fear of failure and a sense of not being enough. That insecurity is present in all of us, and it's so strong that we often go out of our way to avoid situations that might make us feel fragile. Because of this we try to sidestep the shaky feeling of vulnerability by emotionally armoring ourselves each morning when we face the day to avoid feeling shame, anxiety, uncertainty, and fear. The particular armor changes from person to person, but it usually falls into one of these three methods:

• Striving for perfection
• Numbing out
• Disrupting joyful moments by “dress rehearsing tragedy” and imaging all the ways that things could go wrong.

Do any of these sound familiar?

All of these types of armor can make us feel safe and “in control” in the moment, but they are really doing us more harm than good. "Perfectionism is a 20-ton shield-we think it will protect us but it keeps us from being seen.  Numbing our emotions is damaging because it has a widespread effect-you can't numb fear without numbing joy at the same time, “notes Dr. Brown.

The urge to imagine the worst-case scenario in moments of joy (such as not being able to enjoy a hug with your child without worrying about something bad happening to him) is an amazingly common phenomenon, according to Brené Brown's research. And why is it so hard for us to soften into joy? "Because we're trying to beat vulnerability to the punch," says Dr. Brown. But this has a negative impact, for without vulnerability, there is no love, no belonging, and no joy.

This one quality we often mistake for weakness can actually make us stronger. This is why it is so important to work on recognizing the moments of vulnerability and work with them. Mindfulness is a good place to start and will help you become more aware of your environment as well as your own thoughts, feelings, and triggers. This will help you recognize when you are disengaging because you are afraid.

Here are some things to keep in mind as you practice "daring greatly" in your own life:

• Recognize that facing vulnerability takes enormous courage. Take small steps (like asking someone what they are thinking) and be proud of your bravery when you do.
• Let go of the constant worry about what other people think of you. Most people are focused on their own internal struggles, not you.
• Feeling overwhelmed? Focus your attention gently on your breath and the sensations in your body for a few moments before returning your attention back to the task at hand.
• Don't worry about being perfect-in fact, don't even consider it. No one is perfect, and the more you hold yourself to an impossible ideal, the more easily you will give up.

Interested in learning more about Brené Brown? brenebrown.com and read her book, Daring Greatly.