6 Tips to Tame Negative Thoughts for a Less Limited Life

By Zoe B. of tinybuddha.com

“You are your choices.” ~Seneca

Lately I‘ve been feeling a bit down in the dumps. A few things have happened at work to make me feel like nothing’s going my way.

I’m guessing that pretty much everyone experiences weeks like this from time to time. You know, where it feels like the whole world is against you. No matter what you do, nothing goes right.

This has been my life for the past few weeks.

And my initial reaction was to feel sorry for myself. To retreat to the safety of self-pity where nothing’s myfault—it’s simply the world ganging up on me.

And then like a lightening strike out of the blue, amidst my dark cloud of pity I had an epiphany:

I have a choice.

Instead of reacting in a way that renders me helpless, I have the choice to pick myself up, dust myself off, and turn those negative thoughts into positive ones.

When it comes to filtering our thoughts, even though at times it may not feel like it, we do have a choice.

Just because some of our thoughts are negative doesn’t mean we have to listen to them.

Did you know that our brains produce 70,000 thoughts every single day? Just imagine trying to take action on every single thought—all 70,000 of them. It would be pretty much impossible, right?

In fact we actively “filter” our thoughts pretty much all the time. Our brains are constantly deciding which thoughts are useful and which ones to ignore. So when a negative thought pops into our heads, we do actually have a choice.

Either we listen to the thought and allow it to trigger a whole host of other negative thoughts, or we decide that we have better things to do in life and we ignore it.

The truth is, you are not your thoughts.

Think about it. The thoughts you have inside your head do not reflect who you are as a friend, partner, parent, or worker.

This is an important point.

So many people get caught up feeling sorry for themselves or worrying without even realizing it! And then they beat themselves up about it when they realize the negativity of their thoughts.

But here’s an interesting fact:

Most of the thoughts that roam around our heads are completely inane and useless! Your thoughts do not make you a bad person, because guess what? Your thoughts aren’t real. They are just fleeting ideas that you can control if you take the time to learn how.

It’s pretty obvious, but the way you handle your thoughts will massively impact your life.

Those of us who get caught up with spiraling negative thoughts when things don’t go our way will find it hard to progress in life and get stuff done, as we’ll be dealing with things like fear and anxiety.

Whereas those of us who work at “controlling” those thoughts and reactions to difficult situations in life will find it much easier to achieve and be happy.

Imagine if you escaped the arms of self-pity and negativity and converted most of the thoughts inside your head to positive ones. Imagine what you could achieve!

So what can you do to tame your negative thoughts?

1. Be aware.

Notice next time you experience a negative thought. Often we are so “in our heads” that we don’t even realize that we may have spent the last 20 minutes in the throes of self-pity or worries.

2. Keep calm.

Try not to have an emotional reaction to any negative thoughts that pop up. Remember that you are not your thoughts, and try to distance yourself from them.

3. Catch the first thought.

If you can catch your negative thinking early on, then it will be much easier for you to stop it before it escalates into a big problem. Often something that starts out as a minor problem ends up being completely blown out of proportion.

4. Assess if the thought is true.

Most negative thoughts are not based on reality. So ask yourself, “Is that thought 100% true?” Usually this will help to break down the meaning of the thought.

5. Look for a positive take on it.

Instead of finding ways to escalate the thought, do the opposite and look for ways to prove that the thought is not true. For example, if you’re doubting your capabilities you could look for an example of someone else who has achieved in this area. If someone else has done it, then what’s stopping you?

6. Don’t beat yourself up.

You are not your thoughts. Resist the urge to beat yourself up when you catch yourself thinking negatively. Everyone has negative thoughts from time to time. Just be aware and choose not to listen to all of them so you can get on with living your life.

Today, take power back from your negative thoughts, and see how much more you can achieve!

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About Zoe B.

Zoë B is a strategist, coach and author of the SimpleLifeStrategies blog. Through her coaching programs and blog, Zoë helps others to learn the strategies that exceptional people use to perform at their own personal best.

The Ultimate Way to Stay Motivated in 2016

By: Olivier Poirier-Leroy -- Get free updates by Clicking Here

(This post was originally sent out to my newsletter subscribers last week. You can join thousands of your fellow swimmers and coaches who receive my weekly motivational newsletter by clicking here.)

Another cold, miserable day here on the west coast.

(I realize “cold” is pretty subjective here…)

Looking out the window, at the rain, thinking about you guys.

About how many of you seem to struggle with not only getting motivated, but with finding the best way to get motivated.

Should I reward myself for a great practice with five episodes of my favorite show?

Should I write out my goals with a sparkle pen and plaster that bad boy on the fridge, above my bed, and as the background on my phone?

And while these external rewards and motivators are good, and can act as a band-aid in case of a motivational emergency, there is a better, simpler and less sparkled way to get and stay motivated in the pool.

It doesn’t come from trophies, gold medals, or giving yourself a cupcake for having a solid session in the pool.

It comes from progress.

It comes from seeing with irrefutable certainty that the work you are putting into the pool is paying dividends.

From elevating your game, inch by inch, stroke by stroke, lap by lap.

When Our Motivation Stalls Out

We’ve all experienced the doldrums of motivation in our training.

When we are frustrated, our morale has sunk to levels that are nearly unfathomable, and a dark cloud of doubt follows us around and infects every decision we make.

“No they won’t!” you blurt out, tears welling in your eyes when coach says that things will turn around eventually.

This depth of despair is common (frustratingly so).

The cause of it?

It’s not because you ran out of TV shows to reward yourself with, or ate all of the cupcakes…

It’s because progress has stalled out.

Where once you were improving by leaps and bounds now progress has ground to a grinding halt.

You are possibly even swimming slower in some instances.

All that work, all those meters and early meters…

What was the point?!

Turning It Around

Our greatest source of motivation comes from being in control of our swimming, of mastering our technique and conditioning.

Of seeing ourselves improving.

Again…

It comes from progress.

Progress Every Single Day

Okay, let’s be realistic here…

You are not going to swim a best time every day in practice.

(Although that would be great.)

Each practice doesn’t need to be the best ever.

But there should be a tangible little win each day.

Just…something that you did that is a sign of progress.

A set that was overcome. A breathing pattern that was mastered. A commitment to technique that was upheld.

These little wins, although they barely cause a ripple individually, cascade into a giant wave over the long term.

(“Micro winning!“)

And most importantly, they are the engine behind having consistent and legitimate motivation.

The kind of motivation that is real, internal, and 100% fair trade.

Get serious about your progress

The top athletes—regardless of sport—track their workouts.

Why?

Because they know that in order to make progress, to secure those daily wins, they need to be measuring their performances against past results.

Writing out your progress seems obvious, or overly simple, but it’s crazy how many up and coming athletes forgo using this simple tool.

At the end of the day…

If you say that your swimming and your goals are important to you, why aren’t you measuring them?

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Oh, hello! My name is Olivier, and I am the guy behind YourSwimLog.com & YourSwimBook. (And YourWorkoutBook.com as well.)

I was born 30ish years ago in a beautiful archipelago of islands called Les-Iles-de-la-Madeleines, Quebec. Since then I have been lucky enough to live all over Canada and the U.S., making stops in Winnipeg, Hamilton, Princeton, NJ, Vancouver, and finally… beautiful Victoria, British Columbia.

When I am not hunched at the computer, you can find me at the gym, swimming the casual lap, reading half a book on my iPad, or playing golf. MORE

How to Use Feedback to Grow as An Athlete

By Dr. Alan Goldberg of www.competitivedge.com

No matter how skilled or talented you are as an athlete, you’ll never reach your true potential without good teachers.

No successful athlete can really go it alone. You have to be open to constructive criticism and then use it to improve.

If you think you have all the answers and don’t need someone else telling you what to do, then you’re flat out wrong and you’re deluding yourself. Don’t be hardheaded here. Don’t limit your development as a champion. Don’t try to re-invent the wheel. Be open to and look for good coaching. It’s always the fastest and smartest way to get wherever you want to go.

It is especially in the times when you get frustrated, have a slump or block, or get to a place where you’re good but know that you have the potential to perform at a higher level that seeking out and incorporating great feedback can help you overcome a problem or reach a new level of excellence.

There is a concept in Zen Buddhism called “beginners mind,” which refers to having an attitude of openness, enthusiasm, and a lack of preconceptions or judgment. It means approaching a subject with full attention and readiness to learn, even if it’s something you already know quite a bit about. Keep that in mind when a new teacher comes along, another athlete surpasses you with an unusual style, or when you come across something challenging everything you thought you knew about your sport. Staying open will also help you understand things better, and that will only increase your chances for becoming a true champion.

Here are some more ways to accept and use feedback:

1.  Have a coachable attitude.

This means don’t let your ego get so big that you ignore the wisdom and advice from those who are more experienced and have the benefit of an outsider’s perspective to your technique. Assuming you have a good and fair coach, listen to what they say, work on the areas they pinpoint for improvement, and accept their advice with gratitude for helping you grow rather than dwelling on your perceived inadequacy. Even the most seasoned athletes are always open to learning, and that’s what makes them great.

2.  Ask.

It’s simple, ask your coach, a fellow athlete, or someone you admire who has an understanding about your sport whether they have any recommendations for how you can modify what you are doing. Make sure you understand what they’re really saying and have them clarify or demonstrate if you’re not sure, then WORK ON IT, and after some time ask if you’ve made progress in this area and what else you can do better. This requires being humble, something some athletes have a problem with unfortunately, but asking lets you be in control of the situation and it might just produce some pleasantly surprising results.

3.  Go beyond what is recommended.

Let’s say you’re a soccer player and your coach tells you to work on your dribbling skills. Obviously you should make the time to really practice your footwork, coordination, and control of the ball, but then take it a step further. Find some YouTube videos of top level MLS or Premier League soccer players teaching or demonstrating dribbling, engage in activities that can help support the skill of dribbling such as dancing or running backwards, and see what other resources you can find online to experiment with. If you really want to grow as an athlete you have to be willing to go beyond just scratching the surface to really dig into developing those skills to the absolute highest degree. Adding multiple perspectives will go a long way in reaching mastery, not just competence.

4.    Commit yourself to your sport.

If your heart isn’t in what you’re doing then you’re not likely to care about feedback, and even less likely to actually use it to get better. The more you commit to your sport, and to continually improving and reaching new heights, the more likely you are to really get the most out of your athletic experience, on and off the field. So commit yourself, show up early, work hard, practice even when you’re not at practice, and immerse yourself in learning.

Is it possible that you might get feedback that is NOT really helpful, which is not coming from someone who really knows what they’re talking about in this area? Yes, BUT listen anyway, and always ask yourself if there is SOME validity to the comments and if there’s something you could still use as a learning opportunity.

Remember that feedback is your friend, not your enemy. Never assume you have perfectly mastered a skill until you win a Gold medal, and even then you’d better keep practicing to win it again next year!